Constructive criticism can be hard to swallow. You think you’re doing a great job then your boss or a co-worker starts citing why a certain aspect of your work isn’t all it should be. You feel shocked and hurt.  Don’t feel bad, everyone takes some criticism at work from time to time, from the new person on the job to the CEO it’s part of the learning process.  You can use critiques to become better at you job. The key is in learning how to take it. Criticism feels like a blow to the ego. It can make us think someone doesn’t like us as a person. When you stop to think about it, this is absolutely not true. When someone is giving you a tip to improve your performance it is because they want you to succeed, by doing a better job. If they didn’t like you chances are they would just let you fall on your face. Accept that you are not perfect. It’s ok!

The next time someone is offering you feedback whether solicited or not, here’s what to do.

Most importantly don’t get all defensive.  The most common reaction when being critiqued is to get a bit aggressive and start justifying yourself. RESIST the urge to do this. Wait for your emotions to settle down before doing reacting in any way. Consider that perhaps someone outside your situation is able to see something that you cannot.

Next, wait just a bit more. Just keep your mouth shut and listen. If it helps your emotional state, it may help to step outside of yourself and pretend your coworker is talking to someone else. Listen carefully to the message you are receiving and think of how you could fix the problem step by step. This is the hardest part because it requires you to basically swallow your pride. Take a moment to chew over whether this is a valid complaint or possibly a misunderstanding, stay open to either possibility.

Agree with at least part of the criticism. Doing so opens you up to learning opportunities; focus on how you can solve the perceived problem(s). Again, remember a criticism doesn’t mean you are doing a bad job, but rather you have a skill that just needs a little tweaking. Earn extra points and ask for your boss or co-workers for feedback the next time you work on the same task.

Finally, don’t hold a grudge. Being bitter about the exchange will affect your future work; instead focus your efforts on the next task at hand.