Have you ever had a conversation with someone who used so many ‘ums’ ahs’ and ‘likes’ in their speech that you started to count them? Their message becomes completely lost among the filler words. Once you begin to listen for filler words you will hear them everywhere. The typical American teenager uses the filler word ‘like’ an estimated 200,000 times per year! You will also spot the speakers who do not use filler words and become aware of how much more powerful and effective their words appear to be. For an example of filler-free speech, listen to Martin Luther King, the Dali Lama or a Presidential speech.

An occasional ‘um’ is not the problem here. But when you find yourself adding a ‘like’ ‘sort-of’ or ‘anyway’ every 4 or 5 words it conveys to others that you either don’t know what you are talking about, you need to improve your communication skills…or that you’re just not very intelligent. If you want to get ahead at work and in life you need to get rid of your filler-word-habit.

Oddly, filler words have only become common in the last 50 years or so. Is this because verbal and debating skills are no longer emphasized in school? Or are we afraid of offending people with what we say? Some people are simply afraid to have any silence in a conversation so they fill-in their conversations with unnecessary words until they can figure out what they want to say next. In sales becoming quiet can be a very effective negotiation tool. In public speaking a well-placed pause is a great way to keep your audience’s attention

Notice how weak or even ridiculous these phrases sound when littered with filler words:

‘So I kind of told him what I thought of his idea and then, um, I said like, you know…’

‘So anyway, I you know, think we should basically, kind of, go ahead with this project’.

‘Marshall Field sort of said ‘The customer is sort of like basically always right’.

The good news is that with a little determination you too can give filler words the boot and up your perceived IQ. But first you have to become aware of them. Fillers are words and phrases that do not add meaning to what you are saying such as ‘um’ ‘ah’ ‘so’ ‘well’ ‘like’ ‘you know’ ‘kind of’ ‘sort of ‘ ‘basically’ or ‘anyway’.

It is incredibly difficult to notice yourself using filler words at first. You may need to enlist the help of your friends and co-workers. This is a great project for families to work on together, children love to catch their parents using filler words, ask them to raise their hand if they catch you using a filler word. At first hands will pop up with an annoying frequency but with your growing awareness, you’ll become much harder to catch!

Final words of wisdom: “I think you’re all enlightened until you open your mouths” Zen Master Suzuki Roshi