One of the fastest ways to build rapport with your customers is to match their style. This technique is often called mirroring and chances are you are already doing it to some degree. Matching someone’s style is a natural instinct people use when trying to fit in with others. Think of it as nature’s way of creating harmony. Even chimps do it within their groups!
If mirroring comes naturally why am I writing about it? Well, because just like any other skill, there are different levels of ability, and you can get better at it by practicing.
It’s a well-known fact that people like people who are – like them. So it goes to follow that the better you are at mirroring your clients the more they will like you. Here’s an example of how that can affect you at work. A professor named Richard Wiseman conducted at study using 2 groups of waiters. One group used positive reinforcement while taking guest orders using words like, great, no problem sure, etc. the other group simply repeated customer’s orders back to them. The group that used mirroring earned 70% higher tips. Wow!
There are several areas in which you can mirror your customers.
The way they look – Dress in style that matches most of your client base. Are they conservative or creative, formal or more casual between your company dress code and what you can prick up from observing your clients, you are sure to be able to find a style that will help you fit in while staying true to yourself.
The way they sound – You’ll want to speak at the same volume as your client, as well as match how fast or slow they talk. Use more formal or casual speech patterns to adapt to their personal style. Listen to the language they use to figure out if they experience the world mainly through sight, hearing or feeling and modify your approach to mirror theirs. For instance, if you determine someone is visual, you’d want to describe how something looks rather than how it sounded or how other customers felt about it. Some of the verbal clues they may give you are:
- Sight – That looks good, I see.
- Hearing – That sounds right, that rings a bell
- Feeling – I can’t put my finger on it, it feels like
Gestures – If your customer leans forward when they speak, so should you. Same goes for nodding your head or crossing your legs. However, don’t copy a customer who has their arms crossed it will put them on the defensive. Do use similar facial expressions, smiling or more serious, animated or quietly reserved.
Whatever you do don’t be obvious, mirroring is subtle you want to be similar to your clients, not mimic their every word or imitate their every gesture. That would be mocking – that thing kids do to annoy each other and drive everyone else around crazy!