How often have you checked out at the cash register of a store, coffee shop (or any kind of business really) and the person ringing you up never makes eye contact with you the entire time? Even if they said ‘hi’ or asked ‘how are you today?’ their gaze quickly shifts to the task at hand…or their shoes. How did that lack of connection make you feel? It probably made you think that this person couldn’t care less about what you are saying, you may have felt unappreciated or dismissed. One thing for sure is that that lack of eye contact didn’t make you feel like a valued customer.

Sadly, making good eye contact is a social skill that our society seems to be struggling with these days. People who don’t make eye contact with customers come across as cold, socially awkward or seem as if they have something to hide. It doesn’t matter if you are super busy, shy or have had your nose in your phone for so long you’ve forgotten how to connect with other human beings – making eye contact is a vital customer service skill. The ability to make meaningful eye contact is a skill every one of us should work on.

People who are good at making eye contact are perceived by others as being:

• More qualified, skilled and valuable
• Warm and friendly
• More attractive and likeable
• More trustworthy, honest and secure
• More secure, confidant and powerful

Here are 5 tips on how to connect with people using eye contact:

Notice people – a lot of employees have confessed to me that they really don’t notice the individual customers they see throughout the day, everyone sort of just blurs together. If this happens to you, consciously try to notice people. Watch their facial expressions and the way they react to what you are saying.

Shrink your world – Pretend that the customer you are with is the only person in the room and for the next few moments have a one on one conversation with them. You will find you are much more likely to connect with a wide variety of people this way, not to mention it will make your day far more interesting.

Keep your eyes up at the end – The most powerful time to have your eyes up is at the end of a sentence. It is also the time most people look down to complete some task or check what’s next. Train yourself to keep your gaze on your customer until you’ve completed your sentence, then look down to do what you’ve got to do. You’ll also make fewer mistakes this way.

Not every customer is comfortable making eye contact – Some people you encounter during your day will show their discomfort with eye contact by looking away. Other cultures have different customs regarding eye contact. Respect them by giving them a little less connection time – but don’t ignore them.